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You Preventing Your Baby from Sleeping Through the Night?
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- Are You Preventing
Your Baby from Sleeping Through the Night?
by Elizabeth Pantley
Here’s something that may really
surprise you: As much as we may
want our babies to sleep through
the night, our own subconscious
emotions sometimes hold us back
from encouraging change in our
babies’ sleeping habits. You yourself
may be the very obstacle
preventing a change in a routine
that disrupts your life. So let's
figure out if anything is standing
in your way.
Examine Your Own Needs and Goals
Today’s society leads us to believe
that “normal babies” sleep through
the night from about two months;
my research indicates that this is
more the exception than the rule.
The number of families in your boat
could fill a fleet of cruise ships.
“At our last day-care parent meeting,
one father brought up the fact
that his two-year-old daughter
wasn’t sleeping through the night. I
discovered that out of 24 toddlers
only six stayed asleep all night
long.” …Robin, mother of thirteen-month-old
Alicia
You must figure out where your
own problem lies. Is it in your
baby’s routine, in your management
of it, or simply in the minds of
others? If you can honestly say
you want to change your baby’s
sleep habits because they are truly
disruptive to you and your family,
then you’re ready to make changes.
But if you feel coerced into
changing Baby’s patterns because
Great Grandma Beulah or your
friend from playgroup says that’s
the way it should be, it’s time for
a long, hard think.
Certainly, if your little one
is waking you up every hour or two, you
don’t have to think long on the
question, “Is this disruptive to me?”
It obviously is. However, if your
baby is waking up only once or
twice a night, it’s important that
you determine exactly how much
this pattern is disturbing to you,
and decide on a realistic goal. Be
honest in assessing the situation's
effect on your life. Begin today
by contemplating these questions:
Am I content with the way
things are, or am I becoming resentful,
angry, or frustrated?
Is my baby’s nighttime routine
negatively affecting my marriage,
job, or relationships with my other
children?
Is my baby happy, healthy,
and seemingly well rested?
Am I happy, healthy, and
well rested?
Once you answer these questions,
you will have a better
understanding of not only what
is happening with regard to your
baby’s sleep, but also how motivated
you are to make a change.
Reluctance to Let Go of Those
Nighttime Moments
A good, long, honest look into
your heart may truly surprise you.
You may find you actually relish
those quiet night wakings when
no one else is around. I remember
in the middle of one night, I lay
nursing Coleton by the light of
the moon. The house was perfectly,
peacefully quiet. As I gently stroked
his downy hair and soft baby
skin, I marveled at this tiny being
beside me-and the thought hit
me, “I love this! I love these
silent moments that we share in the
night.” It was then that I realized
that even though I struggled
through my baby’s hourly nighttime
wakings, I needed to want to
make a change in our night waking
habits before I would see any
changes in his sleeping patterns.
You may need to take a look at
your own feelings. And if you find
you’re truly ready to make a change,
you’ll need to give yourself
permission to let go of this stage
of your baby’s life and move on
to a different phase in your relationship.
There will be lots of time
to hug, cuddle, and love your little
one, but you must truly feel
ready to move those moments out
of your sleeping time and into
the light of day.
Worry About Your Baby’s Safety
We parents worry about our babies,
and we should! With every night
waking, as we have been tending
to our child’s nightly needs, we have
also been reassured that our baby
is doing fine - every hour or two all
night long. We get used to these
checks; they provide continual
reassurance of Baby’s safety.
“The first time my baby slept
five straight hours, I woke up in a cold
sweat. I nearly fell out of bed
and ran down the hall. I was so sure
that something was horribly wrong.
I nearly wept when I found her
sleeping peacefully.” …Azza, mother
of seven-month-old Laila
Co-sleeping parents are not exempt
from these fears. Even if you are
sleeping right next to your baby,
you’ll find that you have become
used to checking on her frequently
through the night. Even when
she’s sleeping longer stretches,
you aren’t sleeping, because you’re
still on security duty.
These are very normal worries,
rooted in your natural instincts to
protect your baby. Therefore, for
you to allow your baby to sleep
for longer stretches, you’ll need
to find ways to feel confident that
your baby is safe-all night long.
Once you reassure yourself that
your baby is safe while you sleep,
you’ll have taken that first step
toward helping her sleep all night.
Belief That Things Will Change
on Their Own
You may hope, pray, and wish that
one fine night, your baby will
magically begin to sleep through
the night. Maybe you’re crossing your
fingers that he’ll just “outgrow”
this stage, and you won’t have to do
anything different at all. It’s
a very rare night-waking baby who
suddenly decides to sleep through
the night all on his own. Granted,
this may happen to you-but your
baby may be two, three or four
years old when it does! Decide
now whether you have the patience
to wait that long, or if you are
ready to gently move the process along.
Too Fatigued to Work Toward Change
Change requires effort, and effort
requires energy. In an exhausted
state, we may find it easier just
to keep things as they are than try
something different. In other words,
when Baby wakes for the fifth
time that night, and I'm desperate
for sleep, it's so much easier just
to resort to the easiest way to
get him back to sleep (rock, nurse,
or replace the pacifier) than it
is to try something different.
Only a parent who is truly sleep
deprived can understand what I’m
saying here. Others may calmly
advise, “Well if things aren’t working
for you, just change what you’re
doing.” However, every night waking
puts you in that foggy state where
the only thing you crave is going
back to sleep-plans and ideas seem
like too much effort.
If you are to help your baby sleep
all night, you will have to force
yourself to make some changes and
follow your plan, even in the
middle of the night, even if it’s
the tenth time your baby has called
out for you.
So, after reading this section
and you’re sure you and your baby
are ready, it’s time for you to
make a commitment to change. That
is the first important step to
helping your baby sleep through the night.
Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill/Contemporary
Publishing from The
No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through
the Night by Elizabeth Pantley, copyright 2002
Visit Elizabeth's Website at:
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth
YOUR
BABIES NIGHTTIME NURSING NEEDS
By Roxanna Ward
Infants grow at a phenomental
rate. Therefore nighttime feedings are inevitable. In
the early months, your breasts can become engorged if
you go for a few hours without
feeding your baby. ANd sometimes
babies have trouble nursing on
full or engorged breasts. So
nighttime nursings will and should
continue for a few months after
baby is born.
The most useful breastfeeding
skill I have ever mastered is nursing
while lying down. After a
ton of experiments and a pile of pillows,
I have finally found a position
that works great for me and my
toddler. Finding a position
to nurse while lying down will allow you
to bring your baby into your bed
at night and you and baby both can
drift off into la la land quicker
and easier. Some people prefer not
to have their baby in their bed.
I used to be one of these people.
However, after a few months of
looking like a cast member from "Night of the Living Zombies", I decided
it was time to try co-sleeping.
What a wonderful night that was.
Nighttime nursing in bed also
allows for more skin to skin contact
between mother and baby. Most
babies love the closeness.
Although many people worry, it is
generally safe. Even the
smallest baby can move his head in some way to let you know if something
is obstructing their breathing.
After a few months, or a few years,
your baby will eventually begin
to sleep through the night.
Don't fret if your baby does not sleep
through the night the same time
the book you are reading says he
should. Every baby is different.
Your baby will sleep all night
long when the time is right for
him. Some babies beginto sleep all
night long, then began to wake
up again. Needs change and so will
your babies sleeping pattern.
So don't stress if you and your
nursing toddler are still sharing
a little extra night time cuddling. For many toddlers, this
is the last nursing time to give up. Just look at it as an extra
few minutes of Heaven.
---------------------
Roxanna Ward, Community leader
and staff writer for
http://www.BabyUniversity.com,
lives in Georgia with her husband and
her three children. As a
published freelance writer the focus of her
writing is concentrated on sharing
household tips, her experience
with her frugal lifestyle as well
as the phenomenal process of
breastfeeding, child rearing related
issues and romantic
relationships. She is also currently
the Editor of three newsletters:
What's New at BabyU?, Intimate
Encounters and At Home with Baby
University. Roxanna can be contacted
at Roxanna30135@aol.com
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